I've gotten better. Things are going just fine.
I see no need to continue to blog about the nothingness that surrounds me, rather, that surrounds us all.
Maybe I will keep this. Maybe I won't.
Whatever comes of any of this cryptic bullshit is just that: bullshit.
My time has come. I must go.
Goodbye and good luck to all of you, I mean it.
Stay safe. Stay sane.
And above all:

That'sWhatSheWantedToSay. NeverDidFinishTheDamnEntry. Pity. It'sTooLateNow? NotReally,She'llBeBackSoon. ButWillSheStillBeTheSame?

I've been pretty sick lately. Sorry for not updating.
The dreams are back and they are a lot worse, sometimes I can't tell if I am sleeping or not. wereyoudreaming? Idon'tthinkso.
     In one of those dreams I was walking in the park. I threw up blood and there was laughing. I ran away from something--I just can't remember what. But I do remember that it was familiar and it scared me more than anything else. I know that these are just dreams, but it's starting to take a toll on me when I wake up with my heart pounding so hard my whole body shakes.
    And then I went and got sick. It sucks because I have not been able to do anything. Finally got around to checking e-mail and the blog and such. Someone e-mailed me about the small red text on here... I looked through and don't see any red text. So, good prank?

I'll try to get online more often. I hope I get better soon.
~Feeshie

Hope you all stay safe and well this holiday season. =]

about me

I am not sure exactly what to put here..


I'm 20 (rather, soon to be) and have no writing skills whatsoever. (I'm so sorry)
I am an anime lover. And recently came across an awesome online interactive comic type-epic-adventure thing.
I love music. In fact right now I am listening to a fun assortment of tunes. (I can't decide- scissor sisters; NHB- Ice Cream Truck; Turn Me On - Nicky Minaj; and some others.)
My favorite color.. I have a few actually: blue, purple, red, lime green, and black. I can't just pick one. 
I like watching Castle, Red vs Blue, White Collar, the Big Bang Theory, Bleach, Rurouni Kenshin, and some other stuff like that. 
I really have no idea what someone would want to know about me, so feel free to ask. I'll answer or something..


~Feeshie

what to follow

i plan to meet you all really soon.

...

After the things that happened today and watching those videos-
I'm not scared or anything. youshouldbe..
I am still sure that it is one of my friends, but why would they do any of this and how could they manage it?

There were somethings that I cannot explain. My voice was all static, that strange guy, and.. I threw up blood. Not much, but still.

All I am saying is that I think I just need a few days to figure things out. Get my head back from wherever the hell it was today. I need to have a clear head for my final exams that start Monday.  I'll write something on here after my last exam (unless something comes up before then).

~Feeshie

I'll leave you with a picture of what I found on my car tonight. (ARE YOU SAFE?)

another update video thing

(video removed)

This was shot yesterday.
Friends and their shenanigans.

~Feeshie

another video

(video removed)
Shot that the day after the first one. I sound so freaking stupid (like always).

I still have to figure out who put that note there. Anyway..

Pay no attention to the idiot behind the camera..please.
~Feeshie

a 'free write' and an apology

I'm sorry for this roller coaster I have been stuck on. With finals and my dreams being what they are.. I'm just not able to handle it right now. I'm being so stupid. Those notes on my car: they are nothing. Just friends playing a prank on me. They know that when I am stressed I tend to rationalize everything with the supernatural  (as stupid as that sounds, I have to admit it is true).

Update type thing?
I was really sick all day yesterday. Slept away most of the day and wish that I had been able to stay awake.  These dreams I have been having make no sense. I understand that dreams have this quality. These dreams just seem to be more than- nevermind. I am making no sense. None of this is real.

More ranting or something like that?
Anything I thought I saw in the dark never happened? The shapes that made the image of HIM were just parts of the dark room that my mind made sense of in the only way I thought to. I cannot believe the things my mind projects onto my environment when I have watched/read too many horror movies&shows/books&stories. I must not believe all that I see. Senses will fail you when you need them most..
Nothing is happening to me. Nothing will happen to me. I am perfectly fine. I am spilling my feelings to people who know nothing of who I am.. Maybe my next post should be an 'about me'. I should have started with that. I am so stupid. Goodbye my friends..
For now I am going to, rather, attempt to sleep. These nightmares WILL not torment me anymore. I will not let them. I am the master of myself. The voice inside that doubts me will back down and subside to nothingness. I just want to turn the lights on..

~FEESHIE

reading

I've started finding and reading things other people have said about. . . certain topics.
I really don't think- This is not happening. I am not 'being watched' or 'followed'. I am stressed. I am sane?

~Feeshie

ifthingsdon'tfeelrighttheyprobablyaren't

=/

This weekend has been.. well, shit.
So much has happened in the past two days that I feel drained. I cannot carry on like this.. I need to get some sleep. Just a couple hours..........

Everytime I close myeyes I see that face. teh pale nothing that he watches with. Goddamnit I hate him so much i wanna--

I went into a gypsum mine with my geology class for extra credit n-shit. It was so dark-HE was everywhere. I saw his face that stupid fucking tie and everything! I doubt it was real I doubt so much of the past few days. am I dreaming right the fuck now? what the hell is going on? I'm tired and so that is how I shall place all of this.. i'm imagining all of this.. none of this is real.. but holy shit...

I need to sleep and become normal again.
~feeshie

pics from the park today.

while at the park today I found this. It is interesting and such so yeah.. here ya go:

yep, that's it for now.
~Feeshie

hey look a video? omg! I did make one!

Sorry it took so long. My camera was acting really stupid.. And I'm not so good with some things. Actually I'm not good with any of the things.. =/ oh well.

Anyways, here is the link:  (video removed)

Yay for walking around the park!?! But seriously, I am a horrible cameraman and I HATE filming myself.. jsyk

 enjoy?

~Feeshie

this, that, and wow this is stupid

I've probably left something out.. kinda rushing here. hope there are not too many mistakes...

Kayci's dream:
She was in a warehouse with other people her and a few others were dressed in white. There was a mob starting to form. Then they were at a dump. There was a huge screen TV and several glass coffins with cameras in them. She was put in one and then was taken to one of the piles of trash. The mob was growing violent and then they started burning the piles.  There was a d-bag guy with a blue dumb-ass looking hat. All of the other sacrificed people were resolved to be okay with all of that. They knew what they were dying for.. Kayci had no fucking idea. She freaked out and yelled. The mob watched all the people being burned on the big screen... Then she woke up.

My dream:
For some reason I was walking around a dump, covered in blood.  There were bodies everywhere and it was a pigsty. There was a lot of glass and something that looked like a big screen tv frame. The bodies were torn and there had obviously been fires going sometime in the last day or two. The smell of the decaying bodies was more than enough to cover most of that smell. There were piles that I located that were the sites of the burning trash smell. There was also a guy's head impaled upon a metal spike (he had a blue hat on). I feel like there were other people with me.. but I just cannot remember. It was weird: I felt like I was suppose to be looking for something. I felt like I was missing something- something really important. I woke up after a bit more searching. I went all the way to the fence by the treeline before I realized it was a dream. I woke up.

Okay. So why the hell am I bringing this up? Well..:
Those dreams.. we had those around the same time and we placed a few key details together and well.. It seems like I was there after she was sacrificed or something. Linked dreams.. fucked up little pieces of shit aren't they?
I had another dream a few days ago. Right before we went to the park that day and filmed all the dream link stuff. I know what happened in between our dreams. I am debating with myself-should I put this up? And yet maybe it is a key? or .. wow I'm so stupid. None of this is real. I can't believe I am doing this. Shit I have to go.... . ... .... . .-. .