Wednesday, November 30, 2011

*sigh* I am technologically disabled

So every editor I have tried has said there is something wrong with that file. Or it just quits working halfway through my editing. =/ It's starting to piss me off. Oh well. I shall just have to do a recap of what happened.

Actually wait. I had another idea. I may be able to just make it an audio file. Hopefully I won't screw it up.

Wish me luck!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

stupid video

the video will not be posted tonight
the file seems to have been corrupted somehow and I am too tired/busy to make it work right now. I will hopefully have some time Wednesday to work on whatever the hell the problem is. 

sorry =/

Monday, November 28, 2011


Just started cropping out the boring walking scenes from that video. A lamp turned on, and then it flickered for a minute. The dog started barking in the backyard just as this started.
lol creepy

update type thing

I will attempt to post the video tonight.. on tumblr, I think. Might post it to youtube, we'll see. I'll link it either way.
Since it is 30ish minutes I may try to cut it down a bit (some of it is just us walking along. don't worry I'll leave in all the good parts. and the comedy moments as well.)

Cya tonight,

Picture from a park I went to on the 25th. Love the purple spots =]

Friday, November 25, 2011


I'm still trying to decide if I want to post that video.
In the mean time.. Thanksgiving was pretty good. Being a vegetarian and all it was fun finding things to eat, but spending time with family was enjoyable. 
Hope things are going well for all of you reading this.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011


Shot a video with Kayci today. Some interesting things were talked about.. and well some of the footage was a bit funny. Maybe it was just the sunlight and my really crappy camera, but something was not quite right. I don't know if/when I'll post it..

Hopefully more later.

Monday, November 21, 2011


Just thought it was time for an update so..
Life has calmed down quite a bit, surprisingly. It's crunch time for classes and I am feeling calm and collected.
It has helped that I have been getting more sleep. No more of those messed up dreams to report. =]

That's all for now. If you have any questions or comments or whatever feel free to message me,

Saturday, November 19, 2011

It's been a few days...
time for an update on-ALL THE THINGS!

Quite honestly, nothing has really happened. I've had some dreams. They were the same as before.
Anyway off to balance 5 red books on my head.


Tuesday, November 15, 2011

the dream from last night

I am going to brainstorm where this dream may have originated from before I type it out.
Yesterday I took a 30min walk in the park on my way home from school like I do a lot of days. It was overcast with dark grey clouds. Part of the path was closed off for something and there was a white truck driving around on one of the trails. <-- I think it was people cleaning up fallen trees and such for it was the same path that Kayci and I walked on and there was a lot of debris..  I kept hearing a strange noise that I can think of no words to describe other than haunting and soothing. Possibly static... My voice was kind of static during one part of the video I shot, my camera must be dying from being so old.. It started to rain and I headed for my car.

I was talking to someone that I didn't recognize at first. They seemed really familiar, but I could not place the shadowy face. We talked about the woods and how it was a peaceful place to go to clear your head. And we also talked about...something else, it was important but I just cannot remember right now.=/
We were walking down a street when we got to a white 2story house. The person stopped and turned to me. She said,"I have some business to attend to now." This raised a red flag for some reason and I asked her what she had to do.
She laughed a little," I am here to give the target an ultimatum. Their choice will provide their fate."
I watched as she went up to the door and knocked. A man in his late 20's answered with, "I will not have this bullshit forced-" he was interrupted by the girl blowing his brains out with a shotgun to the face. She went into the house and I heard a woman scream followed by a ka-boom of the house exploding.
"What are you looking for?" The woman was standing next to me. She grabbed my arm and we continued our walk. Nothing was said until we ended up at a familiar house and stopped.
"Why are we here?" I asked. She shook her head.
We were at my friends house. She said something about assassination and mumbled something about my not listening to the warning signs.
She was aiming at my friend when I ran over and tackled her. The gun was fired at the same time.
There was screaming and confusion. My friend had not been shot, but her dad had been.
I ran. The woman started to chase me, "You forgot something!"
I stopped. She handed me a knife.  "That's not mine"
"It is now." I kept running. She followed asking where I was going. I lied and said I had to charge my phone. She kept running with me. I said that she didn't need to come with me, but she insisted on staying with me until I got home.
We ran through a school. The woman was no longer with me. A different person was following me through the halls. They stopped to talk to a person something about 'call this in. we need to catch---essential for---'
An alarm went off. Very loud and it seemed like I was the only one who could hear it.
Over the speaker system "she must be obtained. Get everyone on this now."
Another voice yelled, "Don't worry about ________________, HE'S got that covered."

Then my phone woke me up.  This is all that I can remember for now. And it is put together poorly so I am sorry for that.

I've been thinking about this all morning. And I have started to write a reflection on this dream...
"Dream Reflection 11-15-2011
I woke up with my heart pounding.
That person that was with me-I think it was me.. but how could that be? Yeah, I know it was a dream. Weird shit can happen in dreams, but usually mine have some kind of meaning to the madness. It's probably nothing, but I just can't shake the feeling that these dreams I've been having are important. Like I'm trying to make myself realize something. What is it? Hopefully things will fall into place soon."



Since the dream I had last night seems to go with the one that I have not wanted to post...
I feel as if I need to post about it now.

I was walking around on park trails. I kept hearing "..kill everyone(everything), anyone(anything).." I was walking faster, attempting to get to my car before anything happened.
HE appeared in front of me and I lost control of my movements. HE spoke to me ~kill. murder. maim. rip. tear. shred. MAKE THEM ALL BLEED.~ I had a knife in my hands that was not there a second before.
I was running through the forest slicing everything in my path. I cut so many down.. and their eyes- I could see the pained and tortured glares they gave me as I slit their throats.. but I couldn't stop. HE wouldn't let me.
Such sharp and mangled tones of HIS laughter... It was terrifying.
After I killed and cut up the animals, HE  had me put some in bags, some impaled on the trees, and some with their heads impaled upon 4 foot pikes in the ground.

I woke myself up somehow... I am so appalled by this dream. I don't know why I had it or what any of it could mean.. for now, I wish for peaceful slumber.

I'll post last night's dream a bit later. I'm meeting with Kayci for lunch now (not that I'm hungry after remembering that.)

Sunday, November 13, 2011


I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I just can't-
I won't. Not tonight. Not after-

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Post two...

I have been told by a friend that posting about the dream I had may help me "get over it" somehow...
I don't really want to type it out... but I suppose it is worth a shot.

I had several dreams that night. The first was pretty bad. It was the same as when I wrote about it on the 2nd.
HE was in my house with two other people I didn't recognize. The others grabbed me and held me still as HE picked off my family one by one.. It was something that will not leave my memory for a long time [if ever]. The first one was simply strangled by HIS tentacle-like appendages. I screamed. HE squeezed one of them until their head popped off. so much blood. so little- I was screaming for HIM to stop I started to cry. I wanted for HIM to- HE grabbed another screaming victim. HE tore the limbs off of this one. gushing and screaming [mine and theirs]. the legs then the arms leaving the head so the screams could be heard. HE enjoyed making me watch my loved ones die. And the two others... they laughed at my pain. mechanical and isolated sounds. I cried and HE came closer. HE was trying to tell me something but I was losing all of my senses...    I woke up.
Then I had a dream of HIM and two others [perhaps the same, but this time they were dressed the same as HIM]. "WATCHING. WAITING. C(X)ME H(X)ME."   I woke up again, just to fall right back asleep.
This dream.... I don't want to write out... This is the one that is bothering me the most right now.... I am going to wait till the morning to write this one... sorry, I just can't right now.
My final dream for the night was the dream I had on Nov.4. I was in the woods, walking along a familiar path. HE appeared next to me and put out his hand. I ran for a long time, HE followed, each time I looked back he was closer.. And then I stopped. I was sick of running from HIM. I yelled at HIM and HE seemed to understand what I was saying. HE reached HIS hand towards me again. Every part of me screamed run, but I was tired of running and HIS presence was so soothing and I was tired of trying to escape.
I took HIS outstretched hand.  I woke up shaking with a cold sweat.

I wish I would have just stayed awake after that first dream... I will type out the third dream tomorrow.

A couple updates in a few posts.. like two?

So I had to take a make up test on Thursday afternoon... my original score on that test was absolutely terrible. Hopefully I did better this time =]
School is hectic and killing my sleep. I must get all the things done!! xD

No one has admitted to writing the note from my car still. People are silly.
And hopefully on an unrelated note.. Kayci got a note on her car this week as well. She said it had to be decoded and that I should quit the shenanigans because the note is "not scaring" her. I never wrote her a note. She didn't believe me when I told her I didn't write it.


Friday, November 11, 2011


Talked to my friends, all of them deny writing that note. I think someone is full of lies..
In other news... The weather here is suckish. At least the wind has calmed down a bit.
~scratch that just picked up again..  =p
I have a headache so I'm gonna go take some meds. More later =]

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

So the translation of that note...

Someone translated the note from my tumblr..
"We are watching We are waiting It is time for you to COME HOME"

What the hell is that suppose to mean?
My friends have some explaining to do...

More later

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


I just walked out to move my car to a different parking lot and I found a note on it... That's weird.
I'll have to translate it to know what it says. (I assume the rain smeared it a bit as well =/ this should be fun)
I bet it was my silly friends being silly =P 

Write more soon

Sorry for the late update..

School has been kicking my ass lately. I am stressing out so much about my classes...
Anyway I've had that same dream a  lot lately. Sometimes I will have a happy dream right after it but most times that one just plays over and over in my head. It is starting to get annoying.
And since I have been getting more homework and have increased the time I am studying... well let's just say sleep is not high on my priority list. =/ And it is starting to show. (this is my apology for not making sense and spelling errors.)
Other than that. Walked in the woods a few times. It's just so peaceful out at that park, and time seems to slip away. I spent two hours there after school on Friday.
**on an unrelated note: does anyone have walking dreams? I guess that needs some clarification..?  While you are walking around during the day (anywhere) do you have dreams that take over your vision, but you don't stop walking? Comments would be appreciated =]
Umm.. other than that, not a lot has happened. Posted some pictures to tumblr and such :3 fun-fun

Have a good day/night/afternoon/whatever! =]

Saturday, November 5, 2011


It's been posted. Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight.

I should really stop watching scary things now?

Friday, November 4, 2011

I will post the picture I drew of my dream a bit later for my camera is being silly. I may post it to tumblr (  ) so there is the link just in case.
As for now, just finished watching Hot Fuzz: freaking awesome! =]
I am now going to watch something else... what to watch? I've decided on Shaun of the Dead.

I'll post something later

What's going on...

I was happily coloring on myself yesterday and then I went to sleep. I woke up with more drawn on me than I remember. Maybe it was because I was tired and just don't remember...

I went to sleep at like 2am. I woke up an hour later with the words "Come Home" drawn onto my arm right along with the other part of my drawing.. (maybe I'll post photos of before I went to sleep and after I woke up)
After that I couldn't sleep (the dream had a lot to do with that too.. I made a drawing of it. (maybe I shall post that too..) but I just couldn't go back to sleep. So I worked out in my basement gym-type-thing until I had to get ready for class.

Hopefully things will make sense soon

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

what in the world am I writing? -no ideas for a good title

It's 11:11 pm right now and my only wish is for peace in my mind tonight. I don't want to see the horrible images that have been flashing before my eyes for quite a while. I want the nightmares to go away.. It's hard to watch the people you care so deeply about-- (I really don't want to finish that, but I will anyway. Maybe it will help somehow?)-- die in such horrible ways. Ripped apart, strangled, crushed... Maybe I can bring myself to write the dream out sometime later (remind me for I may 'forget').
What makes it worse is that I can't make myself wake up from these nightmares, so I have to 'watch' it in its entirety each night. I hate it and.. I am starting to hate myself for dreaming it every night. . .

What's wrong with me?


...I must have been dreaming

I woke up a bit ago(only after just falling asleep) to a really weird sound in my room. I can't quite describe it, but I have never heard anything like it. This lack of sleep must really be messing with my brain huh?

So I figured I would type an update for my blog =]

School is still stressful. Life is still stressful. But I seem to be feeling better and I am most certainly less confused about everything.. I have decided to stick with my current major (geology) for the time being and investigate a potential second/replacement major (History, Philosophy, Archaeology, Film and Video, or Psychology). Since I rather enjoy all of those, I feel as if I will be having lots of fun this winter semester. 
I am open to suggestions for some subject to try out as well =]

I shall try to go back to sleep now,